Love: Real or Fake?
by m.brown
Summary: The question is not who she loves, but who she's in love with: her best friend or her star-crossed lover? Katniss has to choose at some point. Will it be the one who she's really in love with or the one who will keep her and her family safe? Starts after Gale was whipped in Catching Fire. As for the pairing... you'll just have to read and find out!


Anger. All I feel is pure anger and hatred. I clench my jaw shut and try my best not to let the tears fall again, but they do. How can they not when my best friend is lying down with a back ripped apart? His blood covers him almost like a new layer of skin. I do my best to cleanse small areas, but Gale whimpers and moves in his sleep whenever I touch anything. So, I just keep a wet rag on his forehead and wait for him to wake. I run my fingers through his brown hair trying to soothe him as he sleeps.

I hate the Capitol. I hate President Snow. I hate that asshole peacekeeper. But I hate myself mostly. I should've been there to stop it before it even started happening. If I had been there, and he had known who I was, he wouldn't have hurt Gale like this. Gale would still be smiling at me and joking around and trying to keep me from losing myself in my own terrible memories.

Tears fall quietly as I watch him sleep. He doesn't deserve this. Hell, _nobody _deserves this, but especially not him. Not my best friend. Not the sole reason that my family survived while I was in those damn games. I wish it were me on this table. I mean, it's my fault isn't it? It was me who started the uprisings and if I hadn't been so selfish and just died like I was supposed to, Gale wouldn't be here.

"Please be okay, Gale. Please," I whisper. He looks so much younger sleeping than he normally does. When we're out there in the town, while we watch people starving and living in poverty, I feel as though we're grown adults. Hell, we never really had a childhood. Gale and I have always had to provide for our families since out dads died. But out there when we hunt, I feel like a kid. I feel like we're just playing in the woods like two little kids should and that at any minute our moms will call us in for dinner. Sadly, that's not the case.

I study his face more and realize little things I hadn't noticed before. He has a small scar on his chin, and on the underside of his jaw, which happens to be beautifully sculpted if I do say so myself, there's a freckle. His nose is slightly crooked from obviously being broken, by me of course when I was fourteen. His eyes are closed, but they don't need to be open for me to know how wonderfully blue they are.

I guess I should just face it: Gale is beautiful. I would never refer to him as hot or sexy or cute because those words are foreign to me, especially when describing my best friend. Gale is handsome and gorgeous and beautiful. I think I've always known this, and not just because every girl in District 12 thinks so. I've always known; I just could never get attached to him that way in fear that one of us would be reaped or that he would die in the mines.

He's different than Peeta in looks and in personality. Hell, they're polar opposites. Peeta is sensitive, sweet, and caring. Gale is fierce, sarcastic, and loyal. Peeta will compromise with me while Gale argues with everything he has. Peeta would never try to upset me and Gale speaks his mind. Peeta's kisses are sweet and Gale's are… fire.

I look down at Gale again and my gaze shifts to his lips. Before I know it, mine are centimeters away. I lean in slowly and press my mouth to his tenderly. A spark emits in my stomach and spreads throughout my entire body. I pull away after a moment, but still feel his lips on my own. I begin to stand, but Gale mumbles. I immediately sit and scoot closer to him.

"Gale?" I ask. His eyes flutter and begin to adjust. He looks up at me and manages a small grin.

"Hey Catnip," he whispers. Tears form in my eyes, but I don't dare let them fall in front of him.

"Gale, you're okay. God, you're okay. You were hurt so bad. I thought… I thought that you were…" I begin, but I start choking up visualizing him back at that post, screaming as the whip connected with his skin.

"Shh, hey it's okay. I'm awake now. Shh, don't cry," Gale says. I laugh a little through my tears and push his hair back.

"Here you are all wounded and weak and _I'm _the one crying," I chuckle. Gale laughs a little at that and grins.

"Weak? Hell, I could still kick your ass if I wanted to," Gale jokes. I snort and shake my head.

"Yeah, right! Bring it on, Hawthorne."

"Name the time and place, Everdeen." We're silent for a moment and I look down, before looking back at him. I lean towards him so that my eyes are connected with his.

"Gale… you don't know how scared I was. When I heard you screaming and saw the blood… I thought you were going to die. I'm going to kill that bastard," I whisper angrily. He looks up at me, his eyes soft, and holds my gaze.

"You saved me. I'm alive right now because of you. But you're not going to do anything stupid until I'm better and can back you up, okay? I don't trust that Peeta guy to have your back," Gale says. My heart drops at the mention of his name. I don't want to talk about him right now.

"He's not a bad guy, Gale. He saved me in the Games and I'll never be able to thank him enough for that," I say quietly. Gale sighs and closes his eyes.

"I know. I just wish it were me instead of him," Gale says softly. My stomach begins to churn and I feel nervous all of a sudden.

"Why do you say that?" I whisper.

"Because then maybe you wouldn't have to pretend to be in love."

"Gale…" I begin. My eyes are wide and my heart is beating a thousand times faster than it was a second ago.

"C'mon, Katniss. I'm your best friend. You don't think I'd know if you actually love him or not? I may not know what you look like when you're in love, but I know when you're lying," Gale says with a little smirk on his face.

"I do love him," I whisper. Gale nods, but holds my gaze with his own.

"I don't doubt that. But you're not _in _love with him." I immediately rise from my seat and clench my jaw.

"I'm going to get more snow for you," I state simply and walk out the door. I hear Gale chuckle to himself and I get even more angered. I walk out the door with my fists clenched by my sides and bend down to gather some more snow.

How dare he go assuming how I feel? He doesn't know the half of it! Granted, he's right, but that still doesn't give him the right to say those things to me! Especially when I know it's just because he loves me and wants me for himself. Ugh. Guys are so selfish and annoying. I wish Peeta never said he was in love with me during the interview. I wouldn't be in this position right now if he had just kept his damn mouth shut. Of course, I'd most likely be dead if he hadn't.

Then again, maybe I would still be in this position. Maybe Gale would still be trying to win me over even if I had escaped the Games without the whole "star-crossed lovers" façade going on. Maybe I would let him. But at this point, with my family _and _him at risk, I could never be with Gale. Even if it means breaking his heart, I won't put anyone I love in danger.

I walk back inside trying to compose myself a bit more than I was a few minutes ago. I slide the pile of snow I had gathered in my arms into the pot. I add some of the green medicine to it and stir it up. I take a sterile cloth with me and set both the pot and cloth down next to Gale.

"I'm giving you a new snow coat, okay? This is gonna hurt…" I mumble to Gale who grips the table and nods. I peel back the wet cloth covering his back and my heart breaks seeing his body. There are over 40 marks on his body, some huge from where he was hit in the same place. The blood is no longer just red, but a dark crimson brown. My eyes start to glisten again, but I look away. I put the new cloth over his back and then begin to add the snow coat. I hear Gale sigh in relief which in turn calms me a bit.

"You know you can't keep running away from this," Gale says softly. I throw out the old cloth and then go back to sit on the stool. I brush his hair back with my fingers and sigh.

"I have to. I can't let anyone get hurt. Gale… I'm with Peeta. I _have _to be or my family will die. _You _will die. I couldn't live with myself if anything bad happened because of me. I can live with pretending I'm in love with somebody that I'm not really in love with knowing that everyone else I love will be okay."

"You can't just let them control you like this. It's not fair!" Gale says angrily. I stroke his arm and face to calm him. My hand finds his and squeezes it reassuringly.

"I have to. No, it's not fair, but I have no choice," I say. My voice cracks mid-sentence and I look away. I hate looking and feeling so weak in front of him.

"I swear to you I'm gonna do everything I can to give you a choice," Gale whispers. I don't know how to take that. I'm not exactly sure what it means so I just nod and let it go.

"Sleep, Gale," I say. He nods and closes his eyes, but not before speaking.

"Katniss?" he asks.

"Yes?"

"Don't… don't leave me. Please."

"I'm never going to leave you again."

The only problem with that promise, however, is that it's just another lie in my far-too complicated life.


End file.
